Celebrielle

Above: Jessica Simpson’s dog cries for help with its eyes. 

Jessica Simpson released a mediocre country album and is still dating Tony Romo so she (mistakenly) feels validated enough to launch a new fragrance, Fancy. Fancy is also the name of a prostitute in a Reba McEntire song. Coincidence? 

Simp-leton was on hand to sign autographs for fans (really?) who spent more than $85 (really?). What does this new concoction smell like? 

The buxsom blonde teamed with Dior Parfums vet Alexis Dadier to create the sugary fragrance. The notes in the blush pink perfume read like the ingredients of a mouthwatering dessert: pear, apricot nectar, toasted almonds and caramel, plus a flowery dash of gardenia and jasmine. 

So the fragrance is without depth and sickeningly sweet? Seems about right. Simp-leton had a fragrance and lotion line out when she was still with Nick that was supposed to be edible. I tested it out at a cosmetic counter and it was edible in the same sense that light bulbs are edible. You could eat it, but no one would recommend it.